You\u2019ve had your baby, welcomed all of the visitors and friends who want to meet the newest addition, and eaten all of the food you\u2019d prepared and stored in the freezer. You have survived the first week or two of motherhood, cried countless tears as your hormones regulate, and said goodbye to your significant other as they rejoin the work force. Now, you find yourself alone (well, sort of) on the couch, in a quiet house, with the tiniest little thing that has ever ruled your world. Now what?<\/p>\n
It can be quite daunting, those first moments when you realize it\u2019s really up to you (and whatever support person or network you have in place) to care for this little being. You may be having some existential moments, asking yourself, who am I now? I know I did. I remember just sitting there, staring at this little person who wouldn\u2019t leave my breast, and thinking just that. I certainly didn\u2019t feel like the same person, who just two weeks ago, was (very) pregnant, and now, I\u2019m someone\u2019s mom. Someone\u2019s whole world. It\u2019s really, and truly, a baffling experience. If you haven\u2019t had that feeling yet, you\u2019re likely reading this because you\u2019re expecting and soon will.<\/p>\n
Now that you\u2019ve questioned your entire meaning and purpose in life, where do you go from there? Well, you just go. Really, it\u2019s that simple. Just go. I read COUNTLESS new parenting blogs, articles on the best latch, what creams to use on baby (or not to use), how to hold her, how to make sure she fell asleep at the breast or bottle, how to make sure she didn\u2019t, when to wake her, when to put her down (and many that boasted the importance of putting her down often; this was especially frustrating since she understandably didn\u2019t seem to like it much).\u00a0 I read about how much sleep to expect from her, and on and on and on. It was maddening, really.<\/p>\n
The amount of information available to new parents can be completely overwhelming and it certainly baffles our grandparents who had nothing to go on other than instinct. You\u2019re surrounded by all of this information at your fingertips, yet potentially feel more alone than you ever imagined. This is where I suggest to you forego the books, the articles, and the blogs. They aren\u2019t what you need right now. There\u2019s time in the future for that (a tip: don\u2019t read the sleep stuff until way into the second half of the first year. It all changes too rapidly to worry about right now. Sleep will come eventually, I promise.).<\/p>\n
What you should do is work on finding your village. Find the other parents who are in the thick of it just like you. CONNECT. Really connect. Identify your community, or create it if it doesn\u2019t exist yet, and make plans. Spend real-life time with others who can relate to exactly where you are and what you\u2019re doing in this very specific time in your life. Facebook has become an amazing networking locale for meeting and establishing some amazing friendships for new parents. When I was a first-time mom, sitting on my couch, nursing for most of my day, I made some of my closest friends. Remember the joke, \u201cthere\u2019s an app for that?\u201d Well, I\u2019ve realized the latest phenomenon is that \u201cthere\u2019s a group for that!\u201d Literally, almost every topic has plenty of group options for you to find and connect with others in a virtual reality. But, that\u2019s just the first step, it\u2019s imperative that once we make these connections virtually, we follow through with the relationships in real life, especially as new parents. It can be quite lonely otherwise. There are plenty of local meet-ups happening in almost every neighborhood, and on that note, almost every neighborhood has its own Facebook page (or Meetup group etc.). These can happen during the week or weekend, for stay-at-home moms and working moms alike, so seek out the local community and meet like-minded parents. Then make plans in person.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s this community that I now go to on a regular basis to check in on what\u2019s normal, rant when my days are just tougher than I imagined, cry to when I just need someone to hear me, and make plans with when I need to spend some time with other people who just get it. They\u2019re in the thick of it, just like me, and we can commiserate, or boast, or cry or do whatever we feel like together. I once read an article about how the women you meet at your first moms\u2019 group are unforgettable. Even if you all grow apart, you\u2019ll never forget the times you spent doing all of what I just mentioned, together with your newest little people. And, it\u2019s worth noting that maybe you don\u2019t find your people right away, but keep reaching out and you will. Finding a group of moms (or dads because there are groups for you, too) who you can count on to be there is priceless. Trust me, when you\u2019re up for what seems like the 18th time in the middle of the night and just need to know you\u2019re not alone, you\u2019ll be grateful you have your community. Some might even become like family. That\u2019s exactly how we were meant to parent because it takes a village.<\/p>\n
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If you are looking to connect with other moms and families in the Baltimore community, here are some links to get you started:<\/p>\n
Search Meetup.com<\/a><\/strong> for your neighborhood and you\u2019re likely to find many other parents.<\/p>\n Looking for a group just for dads<\/a><\/strong>? This is a new local group that is growing.<\/p>\n